Friday, February 15, 2013

Carnival... a cruiseline you couldn't pay me to patronize...

In the years since my month on a train in Europe, my tastes in travel have gone decidedly upscale.  Nowadays, I tend to stay in comfortable hotels and book all inclusive cruises.  It's not that I wouldn't consider staying in a less expensive hotel, especially if the hotel is in Europe.  It's just that the older I get, the less charming "roughing it" is to me.  If I can be more comfortable, I'm willing to pay for the privilege... as long as I can afford it, that is.

That being said, I have never had any desire to cruise on a Carnival ship, even before the disasters with its two big ships, Splendor and Triumph.  Both ships were adrift after engine fires and the masses of people stranded aboard were left fucked up, fucked over, and hungry, as my good friend Weird Wilbur sings it...


I like my creature comforts.  That's why I sail on small ships like SeaDream I and Hebridean Princess... as least as long as we can afford to.

Hebridean Princess

SeaDream I

Maybe I'm a snob for knocking Carnival.  After all, I have never set foot on a Carnival ship.  And they do offer cheap cruises... but for your cruise fare, you get lots of nickel and diming, long lines, hordes of kids, chair hogs, and masses of people.  To me, that's not very relaxing and defeats the whole purpose of taking a vacation.

Carnival Victory in Puerto Rico

I do always get a kick out of boarding SeaDream I when the biggest ships are in port...


SeaDream I parked next to the massive P&O Ventura...

They can keep their big ships with the fast food restaurants.  Give me a small ship any day, as long as you throw in a box of Bonine...

And hopefully, if there ever is an engine fire on one of the small ships, it won't involve being stuck adrift for days on end...

2 comments:

  1. I'm not a cruise fan. then only cruises that would ever temot me would be the scottish ilse cruise you took, possibly an Alaskan cruisem or maybe something around 'cape horn. And it wouldn't be on Carnival lines. 'high anxiety person that I am, I'm afraid of everything from fires to serial murderers to pirates to engine failures with no rescue, to things I haven't yet imagined but know are out there] so I worry about them even though I don't know what they are. To go on a cruise, I'd need so much Klonopin that I'd be so stoned that I would be just as happy in my own bedroom with one of those kiddy versions of weird night lights that light up your ceiling like disco balls.

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  2. The only thing I don't like about cruising is sea sickness... and people who act like assholes, because they're drunk or entitled or both.

    It's a great way to see a lot of places relatively cheaply, though. And we always do luxury cruises... When we can't afford those anymore, we'll find another way to travel.

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