Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Beer and Fucking Tour... a visit to Fuckersberg... and peeing on a snake!

Sunday morning, we were up bright and early, ready to move on to our next location.  After breakfast, we loaded up the car and checked out of the hotel.  Our total bill for two nights, two beer spa packages (beer bath, partial massages, and four course beer menu), Friday night's four course "menu" dinner, and several beers, came to about 480 euros.

I noticed that the proprietor meant to take the day off.  She had set a sheet of paper with hotel keys on it next to the names of people scheduled to check in.  I guess these folks would later show up, grab their keys, and deal with the check in process later.  Obviously, the lady in charge was going to rest and enjoy her Sunday.  As we were about to leave, she showed up in a beautiful dirndl, said goodbye, and wished us a pleasant trip.

I really enjoyed staying at the Moorhof, even though it's a bit 80s and in a somewhat rural area.  Salzburg is close enough to visit for those who need to see a city, yet the hotel is in a very serene, beautiful area.  The food is good.  The prices are reasonable.  There's plenty of free parking and there are many places to take walks.  And, if you want to, you can even rent an "old time" tractor and go for a ride.  Though I thought Franking was lovely, I really liked the friendly people.  I would go back there if I ever need a place to completely unplug.  Franking is very tranquil and serene.

After we settled up, I told Bill that I was dying to see a place called Fuckersberg.  I was alerted to the existence of this place in Austria by ListOfTheDay, a hilarious guy on Facebook who posts funny stuff.  He claims he lives in Fuckersberg.  He's hysterical and now runs the Everything 70s group on Facebook.

Anyway, because we were in Austria, I had to see this mystical place called Fuckersberg, even though we had big trouble pulling it up on the GPS.  While plenty of people posted pictures of Fucking, no one had posted pictures of Fuckersberg.  Yet I knew from Google (and now having seen it) that it's a real place.  So, even though it was Sunday and Fuckersberg is over an hour northeast from Franking and in the opposite direction of where we were going, I convinced Bill to take me there.  Since it wasn't in the GPS, we picked a small town about three miles from Fuckersberg's location per Google maps.

The drive to Fuckersberg was absolutely beautiful!  I was really enjoying the scenery.  Unfortunately, I eventually really had to pee.  Since it was Sunday, a lot of places were closed.  I determined that I needed to find a bush somewhere.  As a side note, since we moved back to Europe, I am finding that I have fewer and fewer inhibitions when it comes to public urination.

Bill found a spot on the side of the road near a wooded area.  I don't think we were supposed to park there and given what happened, I kind of wish we hadn't.  But my bladder was screaming and I spotted a place I could duck behind and relieve myself quickly...


I ducked behind here... it was a good hiding spot for a whiz...

I was pretty pleased with myself for finding this particular spot, even though there were briars and debris back there.  I had just dropped my pants and squatted down when I spotted a stick near my foot.  As the first drops of urine flowed to the ground, I saw the stick move and realized that I was actually peeing on a snake who had the misfortune of hiding back there while I took a much needed whiz.  I let out a small scream, finished up, and rushed out from behind the machinery.  Later, I looked up the snake...  It wasn't very big, nor was it poisonous.  Still, it gave me the creeps.  In fairness, I guess I gave it the creeps, too.  ETA: My German friend Susanne thinks maybe it was a different kind of snake.  She's probably right.  Anyway, it was sort of gray and brown and not very scary.  Just creepy.


Near Fuckersberg...


We finally got to a town called Zell an der Pram, which is near Fuckersberg.  Bill turned on roaming services on his phone and we used Google GPS to get to the exact place where Fuckersberg is.  Fuckersberg is in a very beautiful area, but I could tell the locals aren't used to strange people cruising through there.  One lady gave us a bewildered look as we drove past.  She was saddling her horse for a morning ride.  We passed her again when we determined that Fuckersberg only has one sign.  It's pretty small and you could very easily miss it.  But here it is in all its fabled glory...  Fuckersberg is apparently a big field.


I had to take this photo in a hurry because the horse lady looked perturbed with us...

Once we finished our business in Fuckersberg, we headed for Lermoos, which is in the Tyrol region and very close to Garmisch-Partenkirchen.  In fact, Bill and I passed through Lermoos several times last time we lived here because he had a bunch of conferences at the Edelweiss Lodge and I always tagged along when he went there.  I gotta say, I liked our traditional hotel in Lermoos a lot better than the Edelweiss Lodge.

Because we were so far east, we ended up going to Lermoos by way of Germany, which involved driving through Munich.  Bill was not a happy camper and neither was I.  In fact, I got pretty "hangry".  More on that in the next post.

Part 6!
  

2 comments:

  1. "Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?" Indiana Jones - "Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark"

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    Replies
    1. Bill says he'd rather meet a snake than a spider. There was a spider back there, too.

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